Walk Away Or Lean In. Your Body Is Your Compass.

Something feels off, and you can’t tell whether it means “leave” or “lean in”. That limbo is exhausting, especially when everyone around you has an opinion. We talk about a clearer way to decide: how to recognise what is genuinely compatible for you, and how to stop outsourcing your power when fear, insecurity, conditioning, or past trauma is clouding your intuition. 

We bring in a framework that makes the fuzzy stuff practical: starved, hungry, content, and overflow. If you feel hungry in a relationship, career, business, habit, or goal, it doesn’t automatically mean it’s wrong. Hunger can simply mean you have needs and you’re ready to be honest about them. Starvation is different, and we speak plainly about why ignoring hunger can spiral into despair, numbness, and feeling trapped. The aim is not constant happiness or relentless self-improvement, but a life with real fulfilment and steadier contentment. 

Then we get grounded. This is nervous system work and embodiment, not just mindset. We share simple ways to “metabolise” what you’re going through: a minute with your breath, hands on heart, kind self-talk, or moving your body when stillness makes you more irritated. From that place, boundaries get simpler, clarity arrives, and the next step becomes visible even when you don’t have the full plan. 

If this lands, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next, share the episode with a friend who’s stuck in the “should I stay or should I go?” loop, and leave a review so more women can find this work. What are you hungry for right now?

More from me at KirstyDee.com

Transcript

Welcome And The Real Question

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This is the podcast for the women ready to break some rules, for the women who are fed up of pouring into everyone else and not getting what they want. This is where you discover what is true for you and you transform and alchemize the areas of your life that is not doing it for you. Welcome to Truth and Transformation. I'm your host, Kirsty D. Let's go. Hello, hello, hello, lovelies. Today we're going to talk about knowing when to walk away, when to tweak things, when to pivot, when to be more committed and more devoted. And basically, like how to live in alignment for you and to stay like living authentic to you. Because everybody's going to have opinions. Everyone's going to be like, go this way, go that way. But you have to come home to you. And you can apply this to like goals, career, business, relationships, habits, opportunities, every area of life you can apply this to. And it's like, okay, when do I need to walk away? When do I need to set a boundary? When do I need to pivot? When do I need to like really, really go deep here and really like go full out? So that's what we're going to talk about today. And this is something that I think is so so so important to talk about because so many people are like, oh, like something feels off, but I don't know, I don't know what to do. And this is gonna sound really, really um cliche, but it's like the answers are within you, the wisdom is within you. Nobody else can know better than you. Like you are your best guru, you are your best mentor, you are like your best, like best source of information for your life because it is your life. You know, we get support and we get other people. I'm a mentor myself, like I coach other people, and my job is to keep bringing you back to yourself, not what I think, like what is in alignment for you, and and and and and the caveat to that is that we all have things we do because of fears and because of insecurities and because of conditioning and because of biases, and sometimes we repeat things like that aren't in our best interest. So it's like, and if we've got those patterns and we've got those habits, like sometimes we can't um, it's like we can't hear that intuition, like sometimes we don't know how to unlock those answers so that you know, like when people say, like, oh, the best answers are within, like I've just said, like I agree, the caveat that to that though, the and part to that is if you can actually really, really um deeply, deeply listen to that intuition and to that inner intelligence. Oh, so that's what we're gonna talk about today. So there are two to two main parts of

Compatibility Versus Everyone Else’s Opinions

SPEAKER_00 3:05

this. The first part is about compatibility, and the second part is about something that I've been speaking about a lot on this podcast. Well, maybe not a lot, but quite. I have definitely mentioned it. Um, I think I mentioned it in the episode about soul metabolism. I think I mentioned it on the episode around overwhelm and feeling too much and not enough. I've definitely, definitely, definitely been talking about it recently. And it's about um digesting, it is about um metabolizing. And I was talking about in those episodes, like that doesn't just apply to food. And this is something that um is something that I really really want to like deeply, deeply, deeply, deeply ingrained in you. I want this to be like rent-free in your head because this is the thing that like just knocks so many people out of sorts, and it affects our relationships and it affects our um careers and like like business and the our goals, and you know, like you see it all the time, people are like going for stuff and they're like searching and searching and searching, and like it just they never feel fulfilled and it never feels good, and there's obviously multiple layers to that, like multiple complexities. I talked last week around you know how the system is set up and patriarchy is set up, and it like really, really negatively impacts so many of us, and and and it's like the only thing we're in control of is our connection to ourselves, and actually, the more you know connected we are with that, the more that we will know the best step for us, which the you know, the the irony of that is that it also has a positive impact on you know basically disrupting the systems that aren't good for us. So it's like both, it's like a win-win-win-win-win. Um, you know, like it's good for the collective, it's it's good for you, it's good for our relationship. So that's something that I think it is like that. Is why this is so important. That's why this conversation is so so so so important. So, as I say, there's two parts. First part is compatibility, second part is like digesting, metabolizing, right? So everything, every um relationship, every um, you know, like whatever you do for work, or if you or if you don't work outside of the home, or like you're retired, or like whatever, or you can't work for you know, many various reasons and stuff, right? But every area of your life, from your day-to-day life to your relationships, they're all interwoven. And this, like, this, what we're talking about today, like this, they're all they're all connected, right? There are some things, like some relationships, some pathways, some jobs, etc. etc. etc. Some habits and stuff that are not good for you, they're not compatible for you, and yet other people are gonna rave about them. They're gonna be like, this thing is amazing, like I this way, and like my body just glows, and like this person is amazing, and oh, you should work for this company, like they're they're so good and they're so amazing, and then you do it, and you're like, Oh, is there something wrong with me? Because this doesn't feel right, like, no, it's not compatible for you. Um, and like that might change, like as you change and as you evolve, and your needs do, and like where you're at in your life, like that can change, right? So that's the first thing, right? The second piece of this is is is around um digesting, it's around metabolism.

The Missing Skill Of Metabolising Life

SPEAKER_00 6:53

As I said, I've talked about this already, but I want to keep going into this. As I say, I want this to be like rent-free, like locked in, because this is like such a key piece that I wish so many people would get because it would just shift so many things, you know, in in their relationships, in their careers, in their life, in their confidence to um, you know, speak out about things that that they care about and like things that they're like, hey, this is not cool, and like etc. etc. etc. And it is this thing around, as I say, metabolizing, right? Because as I've spoken about in previous episodes, and we've all seen it, like the person who like has all the things, and you know, like you see it with like the billionaires and stuff, right? And it's like they just need to keep taking and extracting more and more and more from other people from the earth and all of these things, and it's just it's just like never enough for them, they're never contented, right? And then other ways that this can can kind of look for for for people is like addictions and things like that, where you know, like the there's something there, there's like um there's pain there, there's like trauma there, there's a a void there, there's you know, maybe it's like um oppression probably, um, because again, you know, patriarchal system and stuff like addiction doesn't come from nowhere. Um, but you know, it can also just be things that you do that you know don't doesn't really really serve you, right? This is where we have to digest and we have to um metabolise, right? As I said, I'm gonna keep going over this concept again and again and again because I really want you to get the alchemy of this. Like I really, really want this to click, and sometimes it can take a minute, and sometimes you have to keep hearing things again. Like I'm I'm keep bringing it back to do what I've like been saying so that you can digest it, so that you can metabolize it. Like that we don't digest things like straight away. There's a process, right? So I'm like giving you these like bite-sized pieces. So what that looks like is that we have to connect with our bodies, right? None of this, like just transcendent, like woo kind of thing. Like there's there's a place for that, right? Like, I I can enjoy those things, right? But like most of us need to become more grounded, like more in this moment, more present, and that can be really, really hard. Like, some many of us, you know, like can really struggle with anxiety and stuff, and that makes complete sense given um the society and things happening in the world, and because of challenges that you, you know, maybe is like currently facing. I don't know anyone who hasn't got some challenges and stuff in their life, right? And it's like that's why this is so so so important. Like, that's what I talk about, that's why I do it. Because I would just be an anxious wreck 24-7 like if if I didn't, like I'm deeply feeling, I like I I feel all the things, like I'm really sensitive to to energy, like I would just be permanent in like a a flight response. Um, anybody who's into astrology, like I'm very water heavy and fire heavy, right? I don't really have much earth in me, so I have to really, really, um, I have to really work to be grounded and to to be present and to be in in the moment, right? And to really, really like check, check in with myself, but also not even in this way, right? Because something that I've been repeatedly saying a lot recently, like you're not supposed to be like calm and like all the time, like that doesn't serve you, but it's like, how can I be so connected with this moment to what's going on? So again, like I know my next step, I know my next move. So whether you're like you're in a hard season, whether you're feeling challenged, or um, there's an opportunity that comes your way, and you really want to go for it, and you don't want to lose yourself in it, or you don't want to lose yourself in in a relationship, right? So we have to, as I say, we have to to do that, we have to digress, we have to come to the moment, we have to get more grounded, right? And um as I say, this is something that I really have to work on. Actually, talking to you right now is actually really helping because we're talking about this. I'm like really like kind of being mindful of like um my energy and how I'm speaking because I am somebody that you know just has a lot of thoughts, and like I I generally speak really fast. So I'm like as I'm talking to you, I'm like, okay, oh like slow it, like slow, slow it down. You know, like I'm from the northeast, we like we we speak fast, and as I said, like I have like a lot of thoughts. I always have like a like a million tabs um going on, so it's like this is work that like I really have to do, and I really really have to cultivate, right?

Name The Thing That Feels Off

SPEAKER_00 12:23

So the way we do that, I'm gonna like merge these two together, right? But I'm gonna like ask you right now, right? And do not overthink this, just the first thing that comes to mind, right? What's something right now that you're not really feeling fully in alignment with, you're not really sure about. It could be um a person, like it could be somebody you're in a relationship with, not just romantically, um, you know, it could be like work, it could be friendship, etc. etc. Or it could be just work in general, it could be business in general, it like it literally could be anything, it could be like a goal or something you're pursuing, right? Just think of something you can have multiple things, but like what's something that just in your life just doesn't feel like oh, it's just not really doing it for you. You don't really feel like ah, yes, this is it, this is amazing, right? That's what we're gonna go through right now, like apply that to um like as I go through it, apply it to your your situation, okay? And because as I say, not everything is like right for you, not everything is um like compatible for you, and it's like one of the questions that people will ask me a lot is just like oh like I again it really comes down to that um that like that deep self um deep self-trust because like not nothing is guaranteed, like there is no right way, there is no one way, like that that that doesn't exist. There is only what's aligned for you right here, right now, and that might change, okay? And that's why this work is really, really, really, really, really important. So you've got the the thing that like you're um contemplating, right? That that the thing that we we're trying to create some alchemy around, right? As as I'm doing this, like we're creating alchemy, right? We're creating the our hearts, we're creating the shift, right? Because now you've brought it to the light. Like it's it's I've I've spoken and it's like came forward, and you're like, oh god, it's it's this situation, right? It's it's this relationship or it's this goal or it's this direction, like it's not feeling like 100%, right? That doesn't mean it's not the right thing. It doesn't that doesn't mean it's not um compatible for you. It might mean that, but it doesn't necessarily mean that. It might mean we need to do some tweaks, we might need to set some boundaries, we might need to, you know, change course a bit, or it might actually be like I need to be really honest with myself. I haven't been fully committing to this, and actually the reason I haven't been fully committing to it is because I'm scared, but actually is an alignment. A lot of the things that are in alignment for us can actually feel really, really scary. And sometimes things can be coming up, and our body can be screaming at us, and we've been ignoring it because it's not. So it's like, how do we know? And this is really, really important because what happens for for a lot of people, they're like, oh, this feels off. So like they just kind of go, but actually, the situation isn't always off for them. It isn't always off for them. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it isn't. Like sometimes it's that something has like activated your insecurities, your fears, your your trauma, right? So again, how do we know? But the thing is, it might be something that is your body's literally saying, not this, not this, not this. So it's important we don't ignore it. But if we also don't do the full alchemy, we can the the irony is we can end up like repeating the same situations because we're not reading a situation correctly, we're not fully metabolizing, we're not fully digesting it, we're actually acting from an insecurity, from a past trauma, from a fear. So, as I say, you've got the thing that um is like this is the thing that I'm not feeling fully contented with, right? It could be a marriage, it could be a friendship, as it could be like a business thing, it could be a goal, it could be an opportunity, like whatever it is, right? So you've got the thing, right? Then, and and this is the thing, this is how things start changing, right? Because as soon as you bring it to the to the to light and you put focus on it, things already start shifting, right? Because a lot of the things that don't shift in our life is because we're kind of pushing it aside, we don't really want to go there because it's uncomfortable, like it's uncomfortable to kind of admit to ourselves, hey, like this friendship's not feeling good, you know, because then we have to do something about it. As soon as we actually acknowledge it, like we we're no longer in denial, you know. Like I say, if it's if it's your marriage, if it's your sex life, if it's um a business thing, like whatever it is, if it's like um your relationship to food or goals or whatever, like the first step is to actually be really radically honest with ourselves, um, which a lot of people don't want to do. They're just just gonna ignore it, but then it it will creep up and generally get bigger and bigger and bigger. Like, like, don't do that, doesn't help you, okay? So this is the first step. Like, you've acknowledged it, like that, that in itself will start shifting things, right? Might not always be easy, might not always be comfortable, might bring up all the feelings, might bring up all the emotions, hence the episode, as I say, on soul metabolism and using your rage and using your irritability and like all of these things, like working with it all, right? But that's the first step, right? The second step of this is right, and like a lot of people are not gonna like this step because they're gonna it's it feels like you know, if you saw that episode um on Friends of Ross and Rachel, where he's like writing the the the pros and cons of like why he should be with Rachel or why he shouldn't, right? We're not we're not gonna do that. Like, let's just be careful like let's we're not gonna be doing that though. That's just like not not into that, right? But it's it can feel um, it can sort of almost feel a little bit like that to be like really honest with ourselves of like ah this thing, this relationship dynamic or this thing isn't doing this, but it's actually the kindest thing we can do, right? Because people feel it, I'm telling you, they feel it when something feels off with you. The kindest thing we can do is face that and and clean it up, right? So to do that, right, we have to be honest with ourselves how we feel about a situation,

Starved Hungry Content Overflow Framework

SPEAKER_00 19:05

right? Do we feel starved, hungry, content, or in overflow? I'm gonna go through each one, right? But here's what they are, as I say, starved, hungry, content, or an overflow, right? Anything that's like feeling sort of not quite right, you're either feeling like really starved or you're feeling hungry, right? Because if you were feeling content and you're feeling an overflow, that thing wouldn't have came up for you. When I said like something that doesn't feel quite right, something that feels a little bit off, right, that thing wouldn't have come to mind, or that person wouldn't have come to mind, right? It doesn't make that thing or that person or that situation bad, wrong, etc. It just might be we need to make some tweaks. It might be that it's like not compatible for you. The kindest thing to do if something's not compatible is to walk away or to set boundaries or to pivot. Again, alchemy, transformation. This podcast, truth and transformation, you have to be truthful with yourself. The truth is not being honest with yourself and being in denial about that and just burying your head does not help you. So be truthful with yourself. That's how you create transformation, that's how you create alchemy, that is how you live a life that feels aligned for you. And and and and and and we're talking about digestion, we're talking about metabolizing, right? The whole point is of being human is you're going to get hungry. You're going to get hungry. So nobody gets away without doing this work. This isn't about constantly doing work and constantly like trying to optimize every area of our life. That is exhausting, that is very patriarchal, that is very like capitalistic mindset, right? That's not what this is about. This is so that you can actually be grounded so that you're actually not somebody like the the billionaires who actually it's never enough for. It's that you can know the difference between hungry does not mean starving. Hungry means I need to get some nutrients. I have needs. It means you're human, you're not a robot. You cannot be this patriarchal capitalistic machine. You need to acknowledge when you're hungry. And you don't just get hungry for food, you get hungry for connection. You get hungry for um intimacy, you get hungry for like oh gosh, I'm like struggling to my mind's like gonna gone blank, which is very unusual for me. But my point is like you have multiple, multiple different needs. You have multiple, multiple different things. Like you have needs you get for you know, excitement, for joy, for fun, for um. Pleasure for relaxation because like you get hungry for those things because you are not a robot, because you are not a machine, right? Hungry doesn't mean there's a problem. Hungry doesn't mean there's a problem. It means your body's doing, your soul's doing exactly what it's supposed to do. You're not supposed to be full every second of the day. You have to digest. Like if you feel physically hungry, right? I'm gonna use food for a second, right? Like you don't necessarily need to eat right here, right now, in a second, unless you know you have like medical, you know, reasons and stuff that you can't go too long without food, okay? Again, apply nuance, apply complexity, right? This is the same with relationships. It's not like, oh, I desire intimacy. I need to have it right now, and I'm gonna outsource my power. And if if I don't get it right, that's giving your power away. Lots of us do that, and we all do that at times without realizing, right? That's why this work's important, because that is how we end up like creating really unhealthy, toxic dynamics, and we never feel good, right? You are going to get hungry. You're gonna get hungry. You are going to get hungry, you were designed to get hungry. So what are you hungry for, right? The work, though, is and this is when people um really start feeling in despair and they really start feeling depressed and anxiety-like, and everything gets like the best of them, right? Because so many of us, when we're feeling hungry, we ignore it, we ignore it, and then we end up feeling starved. It's much harder to get out of a situation when you feel starved, right? When you feel starved, as I say, this is when you feel um really depressed, you feel like a lot of despair. It can also be like relationships that are really abusive. This is it also applies to people that are being really, really oppressed and all of that. Again, that's why this work's also important, so that um we can change the system and stuff. We can only do that by um being aware of our own stuff, you know, etc. etc. etc. Right, because anything that's kind of like mismatched and stuff, like it has a ripple effect, you know. So when things are feeling off in our relationship or like in a business deal or whatever, like that impacts the people that are involved, and then it impacts the people that they're involved with, and then like it goes, it just keeps going on and on and on, like a domino effect. Like so the kind of thing you can do is is is this work because it literally like leaks out, and I really believe that's why we've got so many problems in the world because contented, like fulfilled people um our service, like they're not hurting, they're not going around hurting people, okay? So, um, as I said, being hungry is not a bad thing, can actually be a really great, delicious thing, can actually be an opportunity for things to be better than ever if you don't ignore it, right? So it's to notice when when you're hungry, right?

Why Ignored Hunger Turns To Starvation

SPEAKER_00 25:06

Whatever came to mind, it means you're either hungry or you're starving. If you're starving and it's much harder to get out of that, that is when you're really gonna have to come home to yourself. I'll go into that in a second, right? And you're probably gonna need to look to get some support. Like, if you can't afford um support, like if you can't afford to get a mentor, you can't afford to get a coach, like this is where um I know it's not quite the same, but like this helped me get out of like these situations. This is when like you need to get things like get your journal out, journal. Um do whatever like your intuition is calling you to. Like, this is where you do the things that, and it doesn't have to be a lot, like it can be like micro things, right? Because you're not trying to fix it, you're not broken, you're not trying to change it, but it's like when you start honoring you, like it adds up. Or if you have um a friend, somebody you can go to, this is when you go to someone and be like, Hey, I'm really struggling, can I talk to you? And you can say to them, like, I don't want any advice, like, can you just listen? Can you just be there? Okay, so if you're feeling stabbed, right? As I say, the signs of being stabbed is you feel really down, you feel really depressed, you just don't feel like um your yourself, um, your body might be like screaming at you. Um you might be feeling like a just you're just feeling a lot, and it's like it's like consistent, right? It's not like just a bad day or a bad week, and and that's why it's important to pay attention to when you feel hungry, because when you feel hungry, it can end up like going over to like starting to feel like starving, and obviously, um, there's like there's a there's a range, it's it's like you know, you can be really hungry and you can be slightly hungry, like you can be like peckish, okay. Um and because we're not caught talking about physical starvation, it's the same thing, like they, you know, like at the really awful extreme side, and if you were that thing, you probably wouldn't be listening to this podcast. This is like somebody that's like done and they um just don't want to be here anymore. Um, but it's like that like that just doesn't happen um one day. That is a result of you know, somebody being stabbed for quite some time, okay? And that's something that I really care about, and I don't want anybody to be in that situation. Hence why I'm doing this episode, okay. But as I say, hunger itself, hunger itself can be really, really beautiful. Like hunger itself is like you're connected to your body, like you're um aware of what it what it needs, like like you you you can can can feel it. It's like ah, this doesn't feel good, right? And so many of us aren't actually when we get starved, like we can go beyond that where we it can be sometimes really, really hard to to know because we we can, as I say, feel a lot of despair, or we can feel um complete apathy and like just whatever don't give, just doesn't like I don't care anymore, you know, dissociation sort of thing. So you've now brought to mind an area of your life where you feel hungry in, okay. This is where you have to um start digesting and start metabolizing, right? Because if we don't, we never end up pouring into feeling contented and to feeling an overflow. As I said, we've we've all seen people like that, we've all seen people like that, who have all the the physical things, right? But like emotionally, just they're just not tapped in, like they're just not in tune, like it just they don't feel good, right? This is so many people because we're not taught to do this, we're not taught this, we're not taught this work, right? And um, and as I said, nobody feels contented like all the time, and I am saying contented, I'm not talking about being happy because nobody's happy all the time, like happiness comes and goes, it's it's fleeting, but also when you're more contented, you experience like more feelings of of being happy, right? But that's not the point, that's not not the goal. It it doesn't actually benefit humans to be happy all the time, like you'd end up dead, like you know, like you're not supposed to be happy about like shit situations, right? Because that's what causes us to create the change of like, hey, this this is not cool, that's going on. But I want you to have those those moments and those experiences where like you're excited and you're joyful and you do feel happy. But the for me, the the goal is about creating um a life where there is like overall this contentment, there's there's there's fulfillment, like there can be still things in life that you're not happy with. That's part of having a personality, that's part of being human, that's part of caring, like the stuff in my life, and not just you know, like in my life, but like I look around collectively and I'm like, I am never gonna be okay with that, right? Never gonna be okay with that, right? That is a good thing, right? But then when I connect with myself and I'm like, but oh my gosh, there is like so many areas of my life where like I always come back because I do this work. I always come back to um, like I always create contentment, I always create fulfillment. Why? Because I do this work, because I will pivot and um tweak and set boundaries and walk away when I need to, because I'm really connected. Like I re I like really work on like coming back to myself, coming home to myself again and again and again, right? So that's what we want. And then obviously, overflow is when it's like more than contented. And unfortunately, we kind of live in a world where like the majority of people are never gonna get there. They're never gonna get there. But I want that to change. I want that to change. I really want us to um, I just really want win-wins. I like I really that's what I really, really, really care about, right? And I'll be honest, I don't see that happening in my lifetime. I don't, but it's like we do this work so that it trickles down to like the next generations. I feel like it can happen for um more people, the more of us that do this work, it'll have that ripple effect, it'll have that domino effect, right? But like I don't see that that that happening in in in my lifetime. Um I don't I I don't, I wish, you know, but I don't. Um so as I said, like overflow, I'll give you an example. So my I turned 40 in February, and we went to Tenerife, and we had a week in Tenerife, and it was amazing. And there was there were moments that were completely like in overflow where I was like, oh my gosh, this is just the best. It was more than content, it was like, oh, this is amazing. Was it like that for the whole seven days? No, there was days, even in that, even in that time where I felt hungry, you know, like um, where you know, the kids were like complaining and like not getting on, and they were like too hot and all of that. And I was like, oh, right, that is life, we all get that, right? And I can look back and be like so contented with that holiday, because just overall, I'm just like, oh my gosh, and it wasn't perfect, and there was hungry. Moments like, you ever go on holiday with like family and kids and stuff, you'll know. And like if you've got young kids or kids that are really, really struggling, you know, it's like you know what parents often say like it's not really a holiday, it's just like moving location, right? Obviously, my kids are a little bit older and like all of those things, and yes, there was there was challenges, like my eldest really, really struggled. She's um autistic and found it really, really hard, and like all of that, but you know, she's um much older now, so you know, etc. etc. etc. Right. So there were these moments of like I just felt um overflow, I felt that abundance, but also that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't done this work, right? Because it was not by any means a perfect week. As I say, like things came up. There was times when the kids were unhappy, like all of these things. If I hadn't done this work, I'd have never um like it doesn't matter how good something is and how many things line up and all the ducks lining up, right? And I don't think the ducks ever always all line up. It's never been my personal experience, right? But even say, like hypothetically, they did if you don't do this work, you'll never reach like feeling contented, and you'll never reach feeling um overflow. You just won't, you just won't, right? That is why this is so so so important, right? Because things will come up, like people will get in moods, people will get upset, like you know, like things things happen, annoying things happen, right? But that that's an example. So, like that week was as I say, there were moments of hunger, there was like lots of moments where I just felt really contented and I felt really blessed, and then there were these moments of like feeling this like overflow, right? Um, and but like I don't feel like that all the time, right? And that's why this has like been really on my mind because recently I haven't been feeling much overflow, so I'm like doing this work with you, like I'm doing this work in real time with you because there's been areas of my life that I've been feeling really hungry, and like I know that matters because I've been in places where I felt really, really not good and I felt really, really, really starved. So now when I feel like that, like I pay attention to it, like I let myself be human. Like there are times when you're gonna feel like really, really starved. Um, and sometimes those seasons like you can't avoid, you know, like if somebody you love like passes over and stuff, like you're gonna be in a real like survival mode. You know, like sometimes those seasons, seasons, seasons happen, okay? But it's like if we can feel ourselves getting um hungry, if we can feel ourselves struggling, we don't wanna we just don't want to ignore that, right? So you have to, as I said, like acknowledge like where you're at. You have to acknowledge that you feel hungry, right? And when you feel hungry, this is where the metabolizing and the digestion part comes in, right?

Grounding Tools For Clarity

SPEAKER_00 36:05

You have to, it's like one of those things that you you hear people say all the time, but it's so so so so so true. You have to be with yourself in those moments, right? You're going to want to like just scroll on your phone or grab a glass of wine or like whatever it is, whatever the thing is that you that you would do, or like just text the person straight back, or like like whatever it is, whatever, like it looks different for everybody for what they do, right? None of those things are inherently bad or problematic, like, but it's like you know again when we're doing those things out of like um out of fear or etc. etc. or just because it's a pattern or something, but actually we're just not feeling we're not feeling that good, right? So this is how you start digesting, this is how you start metabolizing, right? Um, you have to be still, right? It doesn't mean, and I'm gonna do a caveat, sometimes you don't have to be still. I'm gonna give you the options depending on the situation that you're in, right? But you have to be with yourself in some way, right? So often it is like you're feeling all the feels and you just need to be with yourself, right? And it can just be a minute, but just focus on your breath, right? You don't need to change your breathing or anything like that, but just focus, right? And just feel every sensation in in your body, right? This is like one way you can do it, and like it doesn't have to be for long periods of time, it can just be like like if you've got like a million cats and a million children and you know, like a partner and two jobs and like all of that, right? You might not have much time, but it's like it's not about how much you do, it's about the the intention, it's about the fact that you do it. So, like even if you just do it once or twice a day, or you spend um just like a minute just saying something nice to yourself and just giving yourself some compassion and some grace and that just acknowledgement of like literally just saying to yourself, like putting your hands on your heart and being like, Hey babe, something's feeling off. Are you okay? And it might be like, uh no, I don't feel okay, and then it's like, okay, I've got you, right? It's like doing those things and like speaking to ourselves with kindness and compassion. Now, if you're somebody that's really struggling and like, like maybe it's with like um, like you're really believing your inner critic or your intrusive thoughts and stuff, again, that's when you have to have tools and you might need to get like more support and like a mentor and like and and different things, okay? But it's like the one relationship that you'll never be able to get away from, and the most important one is the relationship with yourself because like my favorite court, well, not necessarily my favorite court, but one of my favorite courts is wherever you go, there you are, right? So that's one way, right? Now, if you're really, really like um your head is like super, super, super busy, like my head's always like pretty busy, and I've always got like a million thoughts, right? But I mean more than that, like more than the norm. Like you feel um really anxious, or you feel really angry, or you feel really irritated, right? Often like sinning still can make us feel more irritated. So this is when we like nervous need to go for a walk, right? Again, if you've got you know kids and stuff, like it might be um like literally, like if you've got childcare, like just walking, you know, around the block, or if they're a bit older than be like, I'm just walking around the block, right? Um, or it might be like just putting um, like just dancing sort of in in the house. Like this is where you kind of got to get creative, right? Um, it might be like you know, like you know, stretching, like moving, moving your body, right? But the intention is to just focus on the sensations in your body, right? Because when you do that, the answers and the wisdom and all of that, and it's like telling yourself, like, I don't need to figure this out right now, I'm just not gonna ignore it. Right? Your life isn't a project to fix, you aren't a project to fix. Sometimes we have to just let ourselves um just simply be and not feel like we have to fix everything, right? Like sometimes we just have to allow ourselves to just have more fun, even if there's like problems, to just live live our life, right? Sometimes, again, we can't get there, like it doesn't feel that that easy, right? But you get the point, right? Sometimes we have to just be like, oh it is it is what it is, and right in this moment, right? That doesn't mean I'm just like I'm being um complacent, it doesn't mean like I'm gonna be like rollover, take this and ignore it, but it just means right here in this moment, like I'm just being with myself, right? This is how things start metabolizing, how things start um processing. It could be like if you're out, one of the ways that I do this is I'll often just put my feet on the ground, my hands on the ground. Like if you listen to my podcast, I can imagine maybe you already do these kind of things, and I just ground and I just like imagine like all the energy, but it's not even just imagining it, like I'm literally like being with it of like feeling you know the energy in my hands or in my feet, and I'm like, I'll I'll um like like just say to myself, like go inwards, like go inwards, like feel, feel, feel, feel, and then I'll like notice the noises and stuff around. It's like just being really present in the moment, being really um receptive in in that moment, right? Like hug a tree, like whatever, like find what works for you. Different things work for different people, but it's like so many people don't do that, they don't take a moment that you know if they're going on a walk to just pause and just take in in the scenery and just what am I feeling right now? Not trying to change it, you're not trying to fix it, um, you're not trying to like change your thoughts or anything like that, just being aware of them, um, and all of that, right? And also just letting yourself fucking live, like just as I say, like seizing the day as and when you can. When you start doing that, answers and things will start coming up, right? And then from there, you can start asking yourself of like okay, what isn't is is enough for me? Like, what can I genuinely? So, this is where then we step into being um contented. Like, what is um again? I I went into this a bit on the soul metabolism one, if like this is actually enough for me, because the thing is, some things are actually enough for you to be really contented and then to go into overflow. But if you never ever just be with yourself and be present with yourself, you still end up hungry because it's like you haven't, like your body hasn't taken the nutrients. This is what so many people do. That's how addiction, you know, starts in like binge eating and all these things, because it's like we're consuming, we're consuming, we're consuming, but it's never been digested. It's never been digested. You know, somebody could have the be in a relationship with somebody that is so good for them and they're actually compatible, but that person, like, and you you can't control that. Like you can't control if somebody else does it. The only thing you can do is your bit, and that often starts creating shifts and creates alchemy, right? Because our energy and what we do has a ripple impact. Like it it spills over, it spills over, right? But that's something we can't control. You can only control your your side of the Street, that's the only thing you have control over, so it's like that's why it's so freaking important because you don't want to be hungry all the fucking time, you don't want to be hungry all the time, and also it as I say it has a ripple impact, like you know, it it really like impacts your your relationships, right? And the things that are in alignment for you, um, they start blooming when you do this work, right? And the things that aren't, what happens is clarity comes through. So it's no longer like, is this an alignment for me? Like, if it's not an alignment for you, and like you'll start knowing, and you'll know to the point where it's like it's completely not in alignment, and I need to like walk away and I need to leave. And what happens when you're connecting with yourself, you'll connect with your intuition, right? The

Boundaries Intuition And The Next Step

SPEAKER_00 44:52

how comes. I always say to people, like, the how is a lie. Often people get stuck because they're like, but I don't know how, I don't know how, I don't know how, like, I don't know how to leave this relationship. Like, I don't have all my ducks in a row. It's like you don't need to know all the answers, like the next step will come. Like, nobody knows all the things, they only know like how to do it once they've done it, and then they look back and they're like, Oh, but nobody knows the how initially, nobody knows the path initially. People just take the next step. Anyone who's done like like achieved like a really big goal or really alchemize an area of their life, I'm telling you they didn't have a full A to Z map. None of us have the full A to Z map, and nobody can give us a full A to Z map because every person's different, every situation's different, every circumstance is different, right? Nobody can give you that. Nobody can give you that, right? But what happens when you're connecting with yourself? So any, like, so the things that you're struggling with, like it's like, oh, like your intuition will give you those bite-sized pieces, like your soul, your spirit team, etc. etc. etc., right? You will start knowing. You will start knowing. So you will know, like, like you know, you'll have your own downloads and stuff come through, right? And you'll be like, actually, I can work with this. No, no, I can't. Or I can, but I need this thing's feeling off. Okay, I can only control my side of the street. Okay, so I might need to, you know, set a boundary. And a boundary is always about like, it's not about it, doesn't require the other person to change. It's like, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? How are you going to pivot? How are you going to tweak this? Because that is the only thing you have control in. So, like, for instance, say you've got somebody and they're just you're just not on the same page and they're not listening, and um, like you're feeling really hungry or you're feeling really, really starved, right? It's like you can't make somebody change. You know, like you can't control another person, right? If you listen to my episode Thrive in Love, I was talking on that of like a lot of times in the feminine and masculine space, they're like, don't control him, don't do this. Like, I agree with that. And also, I feel like that saying can be really problematic because actually sometimes somebody's behavior is problematic, and we need do actually need to control certain situations, right? Doesn't make you a martyr, doesn't make you toxic, etc. etc. etc. Obviously, if you were really trying to control somebody, that would be of course problematic, right? But sometimes you do need to control like certain things, right? You know, if something's really hurting you, but it's like you need to do that, you need to um look at what you can do. And again, if somebody was in a really abusive relationship, this is different because sometimes they literally can't, they literally can't, you know, um set set that boundary because it's not safe, etc. etc. Again, that's a completely different conversation. That is where you would get help and support. But in most situations, there is something we can do, and you have to know that there is always something we can do. Like if you're listening to this, like you have to know that there, like there is, you know, like um there is more options than you can see, right? You might just not be able to see the step right now. There's never just like this step or that step. There's the third step, there's the fourth step, there's a fifth step. We don't always see that float away, right? But that, but there are. So this is what I do. Whenever like there's a situation in my life and I'm like, oh, this thing or this relationship or like whatever doesn't feel quite right, that's when I have to connect with myself. That's when I have to come home to myself, right? And you know, sometimes it is just like, oh my gosh, this is a grief here, but this thing isn't an alignment, and like I need to fully walk away. And that might be painful. That doesn't happen very often because if you're doing this work, um if you're doing this work regularly, like if you're connecting with yourself regularly, like things just generally don't get to that point. It's very rare that you're gonna make a decision that is like completely out of alignment, right? But it but it could happen, right? You know, sometimes you do need to completely walk away, but usually it's more like, oh, I just need to tweak this, or I just need to pivot, or I just need to set a boundary, or I just need to have a conversation, like whatever. Like the answer will come through. And often the just the most amazing things happen, and it's like better than ever. Like I went from hungry to like contented to often in overflow, right? Because I was like connecting to myself. And if I listen to somebody else, they'd be like, oh, just walk away, or oh, just do this, oh just do that, right? But they're seeing it from their lens, and they have um different needs and um different desires and a different vision and different traumas and different insecurities and different beliefs, and it wouldn't work for me, and vice, and vice versa. And this is why it's so important that you have to drown out all of that, and like you have to come home to yourself, you have to to do that. So anything in your life right now that you are feeling hungry about, remember this is an opportunity. This is I know it might not always feel like it. Sometimes it can just feel distressing, right? Okay, that is even more reason to to not ignore it, right? But if if you if everybody did this work, it's like I I just wish that people realize that it's like no, like hungry doesn't mean that um something's not aligned for you, and sometimes it does. But regardless, hunger is an opportunity, it is an opportunity to no longer abandon yourself, to no longer abandon your needs, and to get filled up. To get filled up, to get contented, to feel fulfilled, to feel joy, to feel an overflow. Do not get scared of being hungry, do not get scared of something feels off. There's just there is something there for you. There is something there for you. There's there's amazing, there's always there's there's always gifts, there's always things there, you know, and I feel like that can sometimes sound like really, really, really bypassing. But it is it is true. Like, again, you think of you know physical hunger, right? It's the physical hunger that makes when you have a meal that is like to your taste, go, oh, that was delicious, right? This is the same thing. This is an opportunity for you to live more authentically because you are refining your tastes, but you are being honest with what they are. So many people never do that. You are directing your life by like, oh, this friendship, oh, this business thing, or this, oh my gosh, that that that chef's kiss. That tastes so good, feels so good, so happy. Uh this bit, like, nah, I actually think I'm a bit intolerant. I think I've got a bit of an allergy to this. So many people ignore that, and then they think that's just how life is. Doesn't have to be, doesn't have to be. So do this,

Working Together And Closing Thoughts

SPEAKER_00 52:52

practice this. If you want to go deeper with this work with me, then do get in touch for either a one-to-one alchemy session or for mentorship. I always say to people, start off with just a one-off session, and then we can look again. You can metabolize if it feels an alignment for you, if it feels in alignment for me, then we can go on a journey of mentorship together and really like lock this in and really, really, really nail this one. And that's the work that I want to do. That's the work that I'm really excited to do. Um, and um I'm gonna be taking on a few more clients by by the end of this year. So if any part of that feels aligned for you, do get in touch. And I will be back next week with another podcast episode. I think next week I might talk about having more fun, having more pleasure. If not, as as I always say, if not, it's because I've got a better idea that's kind of came through. But I just feel like that's like really, really important because I've been talking about a lot of um, a lot of necessarily like heavy stuff on previous episodes, you know, with like patriarchy and all of these things. And it's really, really important for our um well-being that we also balance that with bringing in the fun and the and the pleasure. Like that is like just such um that's just such an important thing to do. So I think that's what we're gonna be talking about next week. And as I say, otherwise I will be talking about something else because I thought of an even better topic for you. But anyway, have the most wonderful day or evening, depending when you're listening to this, and I will chat to you then.