Truth & Transformation
Truth AND Transformation is a podcast on authenticity. It's about living in your truth. It's the messy journey of being human. Expect a lot of vulnerability as we talk about trauma, sex, mental health, parenting, relationships, marriage, emotional wellness, femininity, the divine feminine and everyday life. Plus some woo shit, coz the woo is wise and I'm a witch, so of course, we'll go there.
Season 1 kicked off in 2020 with me 'Living In My Truth' and coming out as bisexual after hiding it in fear of what people would think. I cried. It truly was liberating, but also so hard losing people over it, and yet, here I am five years later with season 5, choosing to walk this path of living my truth still. It's the work of creating a life that you actually frigging like. A life that's emotionally well for you and creating the very best relationships with yourself and others as you go. Things have evolved since the early days. After going on my own trauma healing journey, I'm now on a mission to get as many women as possible to step into their Divine Feminine Power, as it was that work that changed the game for me.
It's explicit, raw, unedited, and vulnerable. It's my heart to yours.
I hope you enjoy. New episodes drop every Monday at 7 am GMT/BST.
Your host,
Kirsty Dee
Truth & Transformation
HOW TO RECEIVE DEEPLY WHILE LETTING GO OF THE EXTERNAL VALIDATION
Ever felt that tug to be liked while also wanting to stop caring what anyone thinks? We go straight at that tension and unpack a more honest path: receiving deeply without handing away your power. Instead of preaching cold self-sufficiency or chasing approval, I share show how to anchor in your body, honour real needs and build secure, reciprocal relationships.
It starts by naming the subtle ways the get loop shows up: replaying conversations, over-explaining, scanning for cues, or bending to keep the peace. From there, we explore the difference between wounded and divine feminine energy, why control over perception is a losing game, and how grief, boundaries and self-trust shape who gets to be close. You’ll hear a clear, lived distinction between hustling for validation and grounded receptivity, brought to life through a vivid restaurant analogy: fully savour what nourishes, lovingly set aside what doesn’t, and keep your centre even when others project or pout.
This conversation reaches into business, dating and family life with practical takeaways you can use today. Learn to treat desire as data rather than a problem to hide, shift from grasping to receivership, and build a filter that protects your energy. When you stop managing other people’s stories, overflow becomes possible: better habits, richer support, cleaner boundaries and connections that actually feel safe. If you’re ready to stop walking on eggshells and start letting goodness land, this one will meet you where you are and call you higher.
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Head to KirstyDee.com to work with Kirsty and to find out more about Kirsty's offers etc.
This is season five of the Truth and Transformation podcast. This is a podcast all on living a life wildly authentic to you. It's raw, it's real, it's vulnerable, it's explicit, it's unedited. I'm your host, Kirsty D. Let's go. Hello, hello, hello, lovelies. Today we're going to talk about receiving, because I don't want you going without, whilst letting the external validation go. So as I say, I don't want you going without. I don't want you to be like, okay, I don't need to receive this, that, and the other, because I don't need the external validation. And then you end up like not being in overflow. You end up not getting what you want in in life. You end up not with the relationships that you want. And I kind of see this extreme of like, I don't need anybody, I don't need this, I don't need that, or this energy of like, oh, I do, I do, I do, I do, and then it all becomes like external validation, trying to get external approval, trying to get everybody to like you, etc. etc. etc. And I thought this was an important episode to do because I talked about external validation a long time ago, and I haven't listened back to that episode, and I feel like my views might have changed a little bit. I don't know, I haven't listened back, but I can remember being in a time in my life where I was really just owning that I wanted external validation and really just letting myself be human with that and really coming away from this trend of never wanting that and never desiring that because I actually don't think that's very healthy in all honesty. I think that's a lie, I think that's denial. As humans, like we do, we need we need things and we need each other, and we don't thrive without that. And yet I was like, I get that it's also dangerous. I get that it's a really vicious cycle. So I was trying to, I don't know, like, I was like, how does this work that you're still receiving, you're still having these delicious like relationships where your needs are met and your wants are met and like your desires, but you're not putting like you're not outsourcing to the outside world, you're not outsourcing to whoever, whatever. So I thought I would talk about like how my journey has looked with that and while this like why why it's so important. And the reason it's so important is because I don't care who you are, I feel like we all do this sometimes consciously, sometimes we're aware we're doing it, but sometimes unconsciously. Like if you've ever walked away from a conversation and like worried about what you've said and like how you're perceived and you've over-analyzed, like this, this, this, like, this applies to you. If you've ever really wanted somebody to to like you, to you know, I don't know, to to meet up, if you've ever cared what somebody thought of you, if you've ever felt that like anxiety, like this applies, if you've ever felt like loneliness, if you've ever wanted more from somebody, like this applies to you. If you've ever been upset that somebody hasn't understood like your point of view, or you feel like they're like pushing you, um, and they just don't get it, and they aren't considering you. Like, this is all external stuff, this is all what the external world thinks of you. Like, I don't know a person that this does not apply to, and I think that's where I kind of got to. I was like, so the answer isn't like getting rid of all of that. However, I also was like, but also like that is a really dangerous slippery slope. So, how do we bring this into into balance? Like, how do we bring these two things together where you can be a woman who wildly, wildly, wildly, wildly receives? I mean, you don't have to be a woman, but I generally work with women. Um, I think this applies to us all, but from from my kind of lens that I usually work with women, like how can you be a woman that is in like overflow, that has delicious relationships, that really is receiving, and also you're not giving your power away, and you're not outsourcing, and you're not going away, like replaying every conversation, worried if they like you, etc. etc. etc. So that's what we're gonna dive into today. Now, there's an episode I did earlier in season five. Um, I talked about like deep receptivity, so that like aligns with this episode. Any of my sort of earlier stuff from season five, I was really digging into like divine feminine work, and it's work that I'm gonna continue to keep coming back to, and I'm gonna keep um doing my like one-to-one stuff around it, my alchemy stuff around it. I'm gonna keep creating courses around it. I want to bring out a course next year, which is really on divine feminine and like relationships and and all of that. But in the meantime, whilst like because that's all that's not now, that's like later down the line, that's like later, and that's gonna be in 2026. I thought, let's just do an episode on receiving and then also letting the external validation go and how that looks. So I'm gonna go back to the example of like if you've ever gone away from a conversation and you've like replayed it, right? This is like where we're we may be conscious of it, it may be unconscious of it, but often it's because we are trying to get something, and often it's because we feel unsafe. Like we feel unsafe if we're misunderstood, we feel unsafe if somebody doesn't like us, we feel like it does something to our nervous system. Sometimes it's not bad, sometimes it could be something else. Sometimes you could just really like somebody, and you're like, oh, I want them to like me too. This is something that I want to talk about. This is something that I really had to work on because it wasn't like a conscious thing. It wasn't like I'm trying to get something from them, and it wasn't like I was like coming with an agenda, like I want this from them and I want that from them. Like it wasn't that. And and I think this is for a lot of people. Yes, there are people out there who are like really trying to get something from somebody and really coming at from like this like icky agenda place, but most people that I know that's not what it is. It's it's not that they're trying to get something. If anything, they maybe really like the other person and they want to pour into them, but they go away from conversations, they replay it, they worry, and this is not receptivity, this is not divine feminine stuff, this is wounded feminine energy, and it's in most people that that I see in most people that I know because this is how women have survived by being hyper-vigilant, by replaying everything, by trying to get people to understand us by controlling how we are perceived. But for as long as we do that, then we don't have these like deeply incredible, safe, secure, thriving relationships. We don't have that. So we have to to break this cycle, and this is something that I've actively been breaking this year. I've talked many times on season five about having to like like friendships and stuff that have ended um this year and stuff, and walking away from certain things because sometimes there are certain people you literally can't create that with because they're not going to do their work. And there is this power in the divine feminine where she does call people to to rise up, and some people will do that, and like she becomes like the muse, and people kind of rise up and they kind of like match her freak and like get on that frequency, and those are the people that you can have really beautiful, thriving, secure relationships. But what also happens is it becomes for a mirror for the people that aren't gonna do that, and those relationships will end. Hopefully, it'll just be a nice kind of like ah. Um, in my case, I had one that didn't end that way. Somebody got very, very um mad with me. And actually, by being able to be in this energy, I was able to still stay in my truth. And I think I'm gonna record an episode next week talking about emotional alchemy and rage alchemy and all of that, because it brought up a lot of that for me, and the feminine can like really, really um channel that to create, as I say, alchemy and to create what she wants. But what will happen with the wounded feminine is if something like that happens, she will start telling herself a story of like, see, I'm I'm not lovable, it's not safe to be me, I can't do this, people don't like it. And she will it will like kind of lock in more of that hyper-vigilance of like believing that she's the problem and not being able to distinguish when um she needs to clean up something on her end and when sometimes it's actually not her, and you have to kind of leave people to work on their own shit, and some people will and some people won't. Um, but anyway, maybe I'll do that episode next week. So to kind of get back to it is it's it's being able to really, really receive so you can have those like truly, truly, truly, truly, truly incredible relationships, but also letting go of trying to control how you perceive, letting go of the going away from conversations and and worrying like what you said and what you did and like all of that. So how this has kind of like looked for me is even though it wasn't conscious, it was catching out when I would go away and I would do those things, and I'd be like, Oh god, did I say that? How's that landed? And what this really was is what I call a like a get, a get loop, where you are trying to get something from that person, and it's not like this thing of like when we think of this like um a gender thing and like all of that, it's not that, it's more subtle and actually sometimes more in insidious than that because it's actually like we're living in in like a survival thing, and it's can actually be really um dangerous. And I don't mean dangerous in like what we often think of dangerous, I mean it's like harmful for ourselves, and it doesn't create the any relationship dynamic to become like a win-win, which is what I'm all about in my world, like creating win-win like relationships and dynamics where everybody can thrive. It doesn't set the relationship up for that, it it sets it up for the opposite of that. And this was kind of like the story of my life of really like really worrying, really worrying how I was perceived, really feeling like I needed to control everything. And to be honest, the way that I got past this, and I I don't want this for anybody else, but I'm just gonna be really like um truthful and honest about how this came about for me and how my journey with all this came is um it it actually came from a lot of heartbreak and a lot of grief in all honesty of the things that I always feared people would think about me, and I really, really worried about, they ended up like manifesting and and realizing that you just can't actually you actually have no control over how people perceive you. So the things that I really was, as I say, scared people may think of me, and like they did think those things of me, and people that I actually cared about. Like, I'm not talking about like just random people kind of on the internet, all of that. I'm talking about people that I really cared about and that I really loved, uh thought things about me that I knew in my core weren't true, and there were times when I also let the world um dictate and I like believed some of the things people said, um, where I was like, am I this? Am I bad? Am I all of that? Where now, like I know that's not true, like I know who I am, I know I give a lot of shit about people, I know I care about people, I know I'm kind, I know I'm graceful. Like, um, no, I'm not always graceful, let's be let's be honest about that. But you know what I mean. Like, I know I'm compassionate, like I know I have bags and bags and bags of empathy. So you can't convince me anymore that I'm not just because you don't like how I'm living my life, like, or because I'm setting a boundary and I'm holding a standard. You can no longer convince me that that makes me bad, that makes me a narcissist, that makes me like all of these things that we want to put on people, but that took work to kind of get to that level, that took work to get that rooted and that embodied. And it came from, as I say, like people, when they weren't happy with me, saying all these things about me, and it really fucking hurt, in all honesty. And it really made me realize that there are people out there that when you don't live life the way that they think you should, and when you don't do what they want you to do, they will generally believe that narrative around you because it's easier for them to believe that about you than to look at their own shit. And this for me was honestly, it was it was really heartbreaking. I was like, no, like I I oh my gosh, like I'm I'm so like I was I feel like this might sound a bit pathetic, but I was like really devastated because I was just like it was like the for me, it was like the worst things people could think about me, they thought about me, and as I said, this wasn't just like any like randoms, these were people that I really, really cared about. And by me living true to me, they created these like labels and they created these stories, and there was nothing that I could do to make them see otherwise, unless I was gonna like become who they wanted me to be and and not be true to me and not be authentic to me, which I wasn't willing to do. Like I couldn't do that, like I like it, even if like I tried to do that, like my body would be like ah ah ah, and there's no win-wins in that, there's no secure relationships in that, like nobody benefits from that. So even if like somebody can keep that up temporary, like nobody can like really keep that up long term, but I didn't even want to keep it up, like that was like goes against everything that I'm about, goes everything, it goes against everything that this podcast is about. So it was like, okay, I've gotta let this external validation go, even in the really, really like subtle micro ways that it plays out. Because the micro ways that it plays out, honestly, I'm realizing it the most dangerous and the most insidious. Because when you catch it and you're kind of like, oh, I'd like more um likes on my Instagram post, I'd like my mother-in-law to like understand me, whatever, those things you can see and they're then and they're obvious, and you can see when you're doing that, and then you can be like, hmm, that might not serve me. But like I'm talking about the subtle ways that it shows up that we're often not aware of, that we're often not aware of, but yet we feel this anxiety, we feel this unease, we feel this resistance in our body. And when we really, really get to the core of it, it's often there is some sort of we're trying to get from the outside world, we're trying to control how we're perceived, we're we're trying to be understood, we're trying to be seen, we're we want to be attuned to, and all of these things, and none of those things are bad, they're all really, really, really beautiful things, they're very human things, and you can't fully get away from it because as humans, we survive by being an interdependent species, so we do need to receive, like we do need to receive. So I was kind of like, so how do I receive? And also let that go. Let that go. And what this looked like for me was it was catching it, and this is work that I still have to do. I feel like this will be forever work for all of us. Like, I don't think I think you know it gets easier, you sort of raise the floor of like where your baseline is, of like, like, okay, that's just where I'm at, that's where I'm anchored in, that's where I'm embodied in. Um, that's like the that like that that your baseline, your default will kind of rise up, where things that used to kind of like knock you out of sorts, like just won't anymore because you've kind of raised it. But because being human, as I say, we have needs and stuff, I feel like for everybody, this is always gonna be forever work, and I think that actually gets to be really beautiful because there's something that we don't talk about that's actually quite sacred in that. Because in realizing what you're trying to get, often unconsciously, tells you a lot about yourself and your needs and your desires, and you can really fine-tune that to just create the most beautiful, delicious life and delicious relationships. Like, whenever I kind of catch myself like just feeling a little bit off, I don't go into this, like, oh, I need to fix it and stuff because like let yourself be fucking human and like we're all gonna have off days. But if it like, if it keeps coming up, I'm like, ah, there's something here, and like there's a desire here, and there's a yearning there, and there's something that like my heart, my body, my pussy, my soul wants to receive. And when I can like lean into that and like really be with the desire and do desire alchemy work, it's like, oh, chef's kiss, like so much beauty can be created. So it started by catching myself when I was doing this. And we all do this, every one of us does this, every single one. As I say, if you've ever walked away from a conversation, if you've ever wanted somebody to reply to you a little bit quicker than what they have, you wanted somebody to get in touch with you, you wanted somebody that you like, um to, as I say, like show an interest, like whatever it is you've ever walked away from a conversation and felt really unseen, um, etc. etc. etc. Like I don't know anybody who hasn't had that. So for me, it started off by noticing, not doing anything with it, but just noticing it, and then being like, ah there's something that you wanted to get that you didn't. There is a fucking desire here. There is a desire here, and sometimes we're not even aware there's a desire there, and we're not even aware that's what we want. And sometimes the desire can be very baseline of like, I just want to feel safe and and secure, where I don't have to overthink everything, where I don't have to over-analyse and over like like mask all the time, right? And that is like a really beautiful desire. And here's what I want to say when you're in really safe, secure relationships, you actually don't have to. Because if you do say something that is problematic or is uh offensive and it wasn't intentional, in safe, secure relationships, they're not gonna just cut you off, they're not gonna just disregard you. They're not if like they're gonna bring it to you if it's something that actually needs addressing, and if it's not, and they're they're gonna just catch it and be like, I can let that go. That person gets to be human, it's no big deal, right? That's what happens. So if you haven't got that, like that is when we need to kind of we have to do our work, but we also have to realize when it's not our work. And as I said, like the things that had happened to me of like I may have to let some relationships go because this this person is if they're not willing to do the work, it's becoming impossible to have that relationship with them. So that was the first piece. It was like it was realizing when I was doing that and just how much I did it, and then I like I owned it and I had to bring some humor to this. I had to laugh at myself. I was like, oh my gosh, you are a real like get-go, or sometimes we call this like being a pick me or whatever. I don't really like that saying, but actually there it there is that vibe, and the reason I don't like that saying is because it can be very shaming and it's very and it's often not what we think of when we think of like somebody who's being a pick me, it's often a lot more like subtle than that, and I just find that language is not that not that helpful. Um I don't know, I just don't think it's that helpful. Um but I I have to see where I was doing it in all these like really, really, really, really, really micro ways. Like really subtle, really micro that you wouldn't really be aware of. Like it wasn't this like really obvious covert thing. Um, it was a lot more subtle than that. Because there's no one way this can look. Often, like I see people saying like somebody's being um, as I say, a pick me or a girl, and I'm like, I don't get that vibe from that at all. I really think you're projecting. Like, I see a really embodied, rooted, anchored woman. Like, for instance, so I saw people saying this like in comments stuff. They were talking about Sabrina Carpenter and they're like, she's such a pick me with how she dresses and stuff. And I was like, definitely, she's definitely not. That is like people projecting because she dresses like um very what's the word I'm looking for, provocative at times. And I'm like, that's not because she's a pick me, that is because um she's just really embodied in her erotic side, and I think that's really beautiful. So there's no one way that this looks. There's no one way that this looks, only you can know if you're doing it, and it really comes down to the energy that you're kind of coming from. Like when you tune in with yourself, only you know if you're trying to get something from the other person, whether it's for them to like you, for them to understand, um, for them to want to be friends with you, um, for them to perceive you in in a certain way, in a it's in a certain light. Um Yeah, there's like there's so much to hope, but it's so subtle a lot of the times. Like it's really, really it can be so, as I say, subtle's the the word that's kind of coming through, that if you blinked, you'd miss it. And yet it's playing out in all these different ways in your life. It's playing out in how you parent, it's playing out in how you did, if you're in a long-term relationship, it's playing out in your long-term relationship, it plays out in your family, you know. Like if you've ever gone away from a family situation and you're like, oh, and you're feeling heavy and all of that, that's about there was something there, often unconsciously, maybe you are conscious of it, but you wanted to get from them. Not bad, very, very human. There's a really healthy, sacred part in that when, and it isn't when, when we work with that in a really anchored, embodied, like desire alchemy way. There's real power in that. So, as I say, I'm gonna like keep banging on this, but like, first of all, you have to start noticing it. You have to start noticing it. There's no shame in doing this. This is very human. You're probably gonna struggle to find a person who does not do this. Um, I have not found a person yet who does not do this. So human, so universal, so wired to our survival, it's so primal. It's like in our biology, not met a single human who does not do this. So if you say you don't do this, then you're either lying or you're actually not human. Like, either in denial to yourself, or you're lying to me, or you're like an alien or something, you know, like which I'm I'm here for alien vibes, but you get the point. You are doing this, it's just are you aware that you're doing this? I do this, we all do this, and it's that's the first point. You really, really, really need to become aware of the ways that you may do this. So, also I want to add one more thing. If you run a business, this particularly shows up in business because in business, obviously, you need to make sales. So there's that thing of like trying to get. And this is like a really perfect example. It's like, okay, but I do need to get, I do need sales. And if you're not in business, you might you also need to get in in some ways. Maybe in in your job, you have to, I don't know, hit certain targets, or maybe just you're you're dating and you don't want to be in a like a relationship that's not reciprocal because you know your fucking worth. So you do need to get. So what we need to do is we need to change from get to receiving, receivership. This is like a feminine skill, and it's a completely different energy. It's a completely different energy, and it's so subtle, but there is a difference. It is it is a difference, and I think if there was one feminine skill that I would get everybody to work on, it is the art of receptivity. Like, this is the thing. This is how I get my desires and things that I want like met so well in my relationships, it's how I've um changed like dynamics in in my home life, it's how like I've manifested um really beautiful things like this this year. Um so as I'm recording this in a few days, I'm like I'm I'm having like a girly like shopping day and a sleepover, and we're going to bath like all of these things, like all of these like beautiful dynamics, it's through doing this work. It's like receptivity. And the people that aren't getting that have not mastered receptivity, and it's work that I keep continuing to fine-tune and and master and deepen. And it's this this and alchemy, these two are like the feminine gifts that um there's lots of feminine um superpowers, but these two I think are like these two are like baseline. You gotta get these two. You have to get these two. So let's talk about receptivity this week. So as I say, it's a very subtle difference from get receptivity. Okay, I'm trying to like ground into right now. Okay, here's the analogy I want to give you. You're sat and you are oh I'm trying to think of a really good analogy. Okay, you're sat in a restaurant, right? And it's a beautiful restaurant. Beautiful restaurant. Like the aesthetics and then the smell, like every it's it's just it's just top-notch. It's amazing, right? Now you can be sat there feeling uncomfortable. You can be sat there feeling out of place. Say this is like a five-star place. You can be sat there thinking, oh my gosh, I don't belong here. Um, like I don't fit in here, and like worried about not being able to pronounce the things on the menu, and and all of that, and like seeing the people around you and really wanting to connect with them, um, but really feeling like you don't belong and you're not good enough, and um all of that, and or you can be in receptivity, and receptivity is like receiving, and you're like, oh my gosh, it smells so good in here.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my gosh, I love the music, oh my gosh, my heart feels so full. Oh my gosh. I love the service in here.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my gosh, I can't wait to try this dish. It's like this deep embodied, like it's beyond gratitude. It like you're receiving there's this like satisfaction, there's this overflow, there is no lack, there is no trying to get, there's no trying to perform, there is no trying to like fit in. It's none of that. It's none of that. You're fully absorbing and taking it all in, but you're also anchored and rooted in yourself. So say somebody walks in that restaurant, right? And they don't have a good energy, you're not gonna take their energy on. You can, you're so rooted in your so in your receptivity, but you're also so anchored in yourself, you're like, huh.
SPEAKER_00:Huh. Wonder what's going on for them.
SPEAKER_01:And you and I want you to really take that on what I've just said and wonder what's going on for them. Your attention is out, you're not going, oh my gosh, I'm unsafe, and blah blah blah blah, and like receiving all that and like trying to change yourself because that person's energy, right? Unless obviously it was actually unsafe, then that kind of trauma response would would make sense. But if it's not that, you're so anchored into yourself, you can still be in this receiving thing, and like that person doesn't get to you to pull you out of that. You can like see it, and it's like, I'm not taking that in. I'm not taking that in. That is that is a them thing, that is a you thing. That is that is not a me thing to take on. And what I see happen a lot is people's partners are in a bad mood, the kids are in a bad mood, the I don't know, family members like off on one. And then people start going, oh, I need to make this comfortable, I need to make them, and it's all them, unconsciously, you're trying to get, you're trying to change how somebody feels, you're trying to change the dynamics because you are uncomfortable with it. And it's this very subtle way that we're trying to get. And it's because that is how we've learned to stay safe. But actually, what it does, it doesn't actually create safety, it doesn't actually create secure relationships, it creates dynamics where you have to walk on eggshells, where you have to perform, where you have to overthink things, where you have to distort yourself. It is not receptivity, it is not receptivity, and that happens often because sometimes it isn't fully safe. And I don't mean like physically the person's going to harm you and all of that, but it could be the case of what happened to me this year with this kind of friendship. It's like they weren't happy and they were they part of the unconscious agreement of being their friends was I had to live by certain rules. And uh and obviously I was like, uh, not doing that. So that friendship is no longer a thing anymore. But for somebody else, they'd still be in that and they'd still be changing how they're being because they're not in receptivity, they're in this get thing, trying to control how they're perceived, trying to control their reputation and all of that. And I can really speak into this because, as I say, that was me. And it I still got caught with that this year from all the work that I've done, it's still caught me out this year. It it's still caught me out. Um, and that is something that is is is, you know, pretty, pretty rare for me now. Um, and it's got rarer and rarer every year. But I want it to be like so, like I'm so in this that that just doesn't happen. And that's why this is so important for me to talk about, because it happened for me this year. And that's why I know it can it can happen to to any of us. Because it's so subtle. As I say, it happened for me this year, and I I I can see it so clearly now and see it so beautifully now. It was like, oh, this was me like raising the floor. This was me getting more anchored and more embodied. It's like the universe give me this initiation, and it was like, are you really gonna be in receptivity? Or like here's an opportunity. What are you gonna do when this person is doing all this? And that's another way we get into this um get thing. We're like, why are they doing this? Why are they doing that? blah blah blah. And it's like you can metabolize all of that and like get lost in all of that, and it's all shit that you can't control, it's all stuff you cannot control. So receptivity is being able to see what's yours and what's not, and it's kind of like this filter system where you almost like pass the ball back on what is not yours. You're like, that is not mine, that is not my stuff, that is not my stuff, and it's like you create this like really beautiful filter system where you end up in overflow and you letting in what feels so good and what feels so delicious and what's so aligned for you, and releasing and like pushing things away that are not. So, like if you're in that restaurant and they bring over a lot of dishes, you can be like, Oh, this taste's so good, and you can be like, oh my gosh. Oh, this is so delicious, this is so good, and then you try another dish and it's not for you, and you're like, you're still in receptivity, and part of the receptivity is going, oh my gosh, I know what's for me, and I know what's not. This one isn't, and you push that dish to the side with so much love and so much gratitude, but you're like, that one's not for me. That's receptivity too. The ability to say no, not for me, don't want that. So that you have more space for the things that are for you and do feel delicious and are aligned for you, and they're good for your mind, body, soul, pussy, like every part of you, they're in alignment. Because some things may be aligned with the survival parts of us. Like, oh, I'm really in this get thing, and I don't want to sit with the discomfort, so I'm gonna grab this this food or this habit, or like I'm gonna reach to this thing because I want it to numb it and I want it to fill a void. But it's not receptivity, that's get. That's get. It's just completely different energy. That's like I'm not receptive, I'm not embodied because when you are really, really, really embodied and you are really anchored into yourself, what you feed yourself and what you give yourself changes. It uplevels the people you spend time with, your habits, the things that you nourish your body with. Like that all changes in this really beautiful way, because you're you're in your body and you're taking care of this temple because you only get one body, you only get one temple in this life. So, what you wanna receive and what you give it changes as you drop more into your divine feminine, you become more um sensitive to energies and stuff, and you you start going, uh-uh, not that, not that. Oh, this. This is delicious, this feels good, this nourishes me. This is like, ooh la la. This overflow. And overflow keeps creating more overflow. Get creates more get, and that's what people don't understand around desire. They think it's gonna take them down this path of like, I'll just need to keep getting, and I'll just need to keep getting. And it's like that that's that's not it. That's when you're not actually fed, that's when you're like you can be consuming, and I'm not just talking food, but we can use food as an example. I'm talking everything: relationships, sex, um, business, like all of these things. It's like you can be getting, you know, if you're in business, you can be getting sales and never be dropping into receptivity. You can be getting dates and never be in receptivity. You can be eating food and never be in receptivity. All of these things can be just like I'm trying to get, I'm trying to get, I'm trying to fill a void, I'm trying to give myself um nutrients, but I'm never fully absorbing, I'm never fully metabolizing the things that actually feel good because that requires me to be really embodied, it requires me to be really anchored, it requires me to really connect with myself, it requires alchemy work, it requires divine feminine work, it may require doing some one-to-one alchemy work, it requires you getting into relationship with yourself, it requires you looking at the hard things, the shadow things, it requires you looking at your desires, it requires you coming home to yourself. And that gets to be a really beautiful, beautiful, beautiful journey. Uncomfortable at times, but like no doubt, hard at times, no doubt, but also beautiful, also sacred, also delicious. But if we aren't willing to go there, we live and get. We live and get. So I'm gonna be back next week with another episode. I think I'm gonna do alchemy next week. If I don't, it's because something better channels through. But that's what I'm planning on doing. If you want to work with me, head to kerstd.com. The details will also be in the show notes if you want to book a one to one session with me. Um, but other than that, I hope you have the most wonderful, wonderful, amazing week. And I will speak to you next week.